Lockets

I think that LOCKETS are incredibly romantic. It was such a classic part of olden-time dating when the beau gives his girl a locket with their pictures inside.

I think we should bring that back!!

Inside the locket holds the secret love of the wearer of the locket.

Man, they are great and classic and beautiful.

Your love can also write a little inscription on it. Let's be serious, I think an inscription on a locket is much more romantic than on the back of the Ipod (although I would accept that as well).

Maybe my little sister is right, vintage items, antiques and older traditions are a fading beauty in our day. But we should bring them back. I think Cheri would especially like the locket above and if I had thousands of dollars, I'd buy it for her (and one for me).

Color of My Dreams

So, I just started an incredible book, Reading Lolita in Tehran, and the author commented that her artist friend had stopped painting reality because it was too dismal and instead turned to painting the colors of her dreams. No more painting abandoned homes or dead trees or a colorless world, she started painting with splashes of bright colors and she painted her dreams of a better world, and romance, and freedom.

As I was sitting there peddling on the little bicycle at 24-hour fitness (which I recently joined and am really excited about...my body will thank me!), I realized that reality isn't really that different from the colors of my dreams. I mean, sure, I have plenty of dreams that are yet to be fulfilled, but I also have a lot of dreams that have been fulfilled or are in the process of and I wouldn't change much about my current reality.

I dreamed of a job where I got to help people on a daily basis - CHECK.

I dream of living in a comfortable home that feels homey - CHECK.

I dream of having a charming BF - CHECK.

I dream of independence (whether it be financial, transportation, etc) - CHECK.

I dream of being able to learn - CHECK.

I dream of being able to have the excitement of the big city with a quick escape to the tranquility of the country - CHECK.

I dream of having family close by - CHECK (except Jen...).

I dream of being able to make my dreams come true - CHECK.

There are plenty of other things I dream about, but really, reality is treating me pretty well as of late. So thanks reality!

There's something for you to think about.

Are your reality and dreams in line or do you need to change the reality so that you're living your dreams?

Gratitude

In honor of the approaching holiday, I thought I'd share a few things that I'm grateful for.

1. Good literature, like the Alchemist, that inspire me and get me really thinking about life's journey.

2. Lovely sisters - and in-laws - that I share my hopes, dreams, and silly stories with.

3. My mother - who is always there - for the good and for the bad and who finally has a cell phone so that I can reach her anytime of day or night.

4. The magic of the first good snow of the season.

5. The last brightly colored leaf to fall from the tree.

6. My job - I may not love it, but it's a good starter job and helps me to provide for myself.

7. My beautiful little car :)

8. Besides the above mentioned people, family members in general and bffs like Natausha make life great.

9. I'm grateful for pictures - they have the power to preserve memories, feelings, events, etc. I looked through some pictures today and was flooded with memories - tears and laughter - and all the great feelings of life.

10. I am grateful for heartbreak (not that I want it all the time. I would actually be happy to never experience it again.) However, I was thinking the other day about what a beautiful thing it is to hurt that deeply because that hurt is a reflection of how much we are capable of caring and loving someone and that's a pretty miraculous thing.

11. I'm grateful that I have the power to make my dreams come true.

12. I'm definitely grateful for my life and my beliefs.

13. I'm grateful for Frozen Yogurt (especially the kind in Provo that is extremely reasonably priced and I get to buy it by ounce and add as many toppings as I want).

14. I'm grateful for the dreams of foreign lands and cultures and that I can plan lots of imaginary vacations that I hope will one day stop being imaginary.

15. Despite my country's imperfections, I am very grateful to live in the U.S!!!

16. I'm grateful for songs that perfectly express my feelings.

17. I'm grateful that I got to travel to Plymouth and the Mayflower and recreate the first Thanksgiving in my mind in the place that those first pilgrims came.

This list could go on and on. It's just a start of what I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving!

Today

I just want to giggle like a school girl. It's a lovely day.

Que Sera, Sera...

Jen sent this to me and I figured, why not answer it...



1. Were you named after anyone? I think Rebekah in the Bible.

2. When was the last time you cried? I don't think I've cried since Halloween - when I moved from Provo, haha.

3. Do you like your handwriting? Yeah, I think it does the job and I can write incredibly small.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Depends on the day - anything that's deli fresh.

5. Do you have kids? Obviously not.

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Sure, I like me.

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Never does a sarcastic word slip from my mouth.

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes, unless they were removed without someone telling me.

9. Would you bungee jump? Probably not, but then again I didn't think I'd do the human slingshot up Hobble Creek either. Check it out on You Tube. It was awesome!

10. What is your favorite cereal? Quaker Cinnamon Oatmeal Squares (and it makes the best milk!)

11. Do you untie your shoes? Except for my running shoes, I don't have any with laces...

12. Do you think your strong? The arm I hold up the blow dryer with is pretty tough :)

13. What is your favorite ice cream? I almost never crave or want ice cream. The end.

14. First thing you notice about people? their personality? or their dreamy smile and look in their eyes (which is sometimes creepy)

15. Red or Pink? I own considerably more pink.

16. Least favorite thing about yourself? Sometimes I'm shy.

17. Who do you miss the most? It'd be nice if Natausha, my side kick, were here... but I still talk to her about 3 times a day, at least.

18. What color shoes are you wearing? Old black (with some dust on them) flats. I'm not a shoe person.

19. What was the last thing you ate? A rolo.

20. What are you listening to right now? The Christmas music coming out of my coworkers cubicle.

21. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple!

22. Favorite smells? Crisp fall air with the scent of bread or pumpkin spice, vanilla, etc. candles.

23. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Natausha

24. Favorite sports to watch? I watch sports for the social scene...so whichever sport has the best people watching it.

25. Hair Color and Eye Color? Brown and Hazel.

26. Favorite Food? Mexican American Food or Shrimp.

27. Scary movies or happy endings? Hello -happy endings.

28. What color of shirt are you wearing? Pink

29. Last movie you watched? The Proposal (no worries, I closed my eyes during the inappropriate scene)

30. Hugs or kisses? Depends on whose giving them.

31. What book are you reading right now? Land of a Thousand Hills by Rosamond Carr

32. What'd you watch on TV last night? There's not even a TV in my apt.

33. Farthest you've been from home? Chile

34. Are you bored at work? Um, YES! That's what I spent so much time doing this.

Burning the Midnight Oil

There are so many useful phrases that I think we should reincorporate into our language - or I think Cheri should write a song entitled, Burning the Midnight Oil. Wouldn't that be terrific?!?

There was a point to this post before I got distracted by old idioms.

Last night on my date, somewhere towards the beginning of the night, he asked me, "So Becky, what do you like to do?" Naturally I started to respond, but within 2 or 3 sentences (before I had even mentioned one thing that I like to do) I was distracted by something else and my mind hopped to another topic. About an hour later, after discussing various other topics, he said, "Wait, you never told me what you like to do." So, I again started down the path that would lead to that answer, but alas, again I got sidetracked and didn't answer the question. (Atleast we had good converstation even if it wasn't the answer to the question.) The 3rd time, about another hour later, the topic was brought up, and I made a concerted effort to answer the question, to which I succeeded.

I chuckled and explained to the poor bloke that that's how we communicate in my family. In order to answer one question or tell one story, we must discuss every other possible topic first - normally for a quite extended amount of time. I guess I am like my family after all.

P.S.

I love this cold time of year! I get to sip hot chocolate all the time. I even went to Starbucks for the first time and had the most delicious Peppermint Hot Chocolate with Cream. I highly recommend it!! I also recommend Village Inn or 7-11 or Stephens.

Hot Chocolate makes me happy!

So do scarfs and hats.

Rosy Cheeks.

The soon to be hung Christmas lights.

The already playing Christmas music (yes, that's right, I like it BEFORE Thanksgiving).

Singing the songs from Mickey's Christmas Carol or Alabama Christmas favorites.

etc.

An Eventful Sunday.

Let me tell you about today.
First, I think winter is going to be brutal. Don't get me wrong - I HEART the snow, but it was so stinkin' cold today and it was only like 32ish. I'm going to have to start layering and layering, expect at work where the office temp hovers around 84 by the end of the day and I feel like I'm back in Ecuador.
It was another happy Sunday.
Church was amazing today and I got a calling - Activities Committee. This is officially (well except for that one month stint as Gospel Doctrine Teacher) that I've had a calling outside of Relief Society - ever. Bishop said it's good for me to have a calling with some men and mix it up. I like my new Bishop. He's quiet and a little shy and doesn't really know how to always phrase things or ask things, but he cares and wants to know. It was funny as he tried to so delicately ask if I am dating someone. There were some amazing talks in Sacrament Meeting and there are lots of familiar, friendly faces at church.
I have a week lined up with plenty of social engagements :) It turns out that I can still flirt! I'm pleased needless to say.
The day was busy after church with a dinner group, a friendly boy who stopped by to bring me Argentine goodies, a fireside, ward prayer, another little activity with another boy. I like having things to do constantly at my disposal. It's so relieving!
Salt Lake captures me more and more everyday. Thank you Salt Lake!
For anyone who's ever felt lost before, you know how relieving it is to again be found.
I made some new friends.
I am getting familiar with this place.
I was in Provo over the weekend and although it was good to see some faces, my decision to move really was right!
This was a good start to a new week.

Who got bitten by the happy bug?

So I must confess.
All of those close to me knew that the month of October was one of the low-points of my life with tears everyday and an unrelenting feeling of frustration. Now, that is quite atypical. I am a happy, jovial, silly person and I do not like being down. It was a whole month, at least, of that feeling so it couldn't even be blamed on womanly fluctuations ;)
However, I must say that November is looking up. I have returned to being me! It just goes to show that when you're where you're supposed to be, things feel better and work out much better.
Where am I supposed to be?
That's easy - Salt Lake City.
Despite my concern and need to lose some of my Provo Pride, Salt Lake has pleasantly surprised me. I often feel like I moved to the big city from a small little community. There are so many big buildings and streets lined with restaurants. There's quite a smattering of different cultures and ethnicities, and there is most definitely more SMOKE in the air in Salt Lake. (That part I'd be happy to do without.)
It turns out that no matter how much I love Provo, it's not the best place for a 25 year old single BYU graduate who works in Salt Lake.
SLC is accompanied by a multitude of post-graduate, mid-20 year old Mormons. There's an institute that is full of activities and is such a great place to meet new people. There are older wards where many of you are in the same shoes. It's such a relieve! I love being 25...on the verge of 26... I think it's a fantastic age, but it turns out that Provo is not the best place to be in that stage.
I guess I knew that I didn't belong in Provo before I even signed another year contract in Provo, but I didn't want to move on account of great roommates and other positive situations. It goes to show that even though change can be difficult and not always exactly as you want it, that there is divine purpose in change. I knew that I needed to leave, but couldn't get myself to bid farewell. So because I refused to move, I had to suffer until I was willing to make the change.
I am glad that I have now. I can still have friends in Provo, but I can also enjoy the new adventure of life in the big city....Salt Lake.
It's no NYC, that's true, but it has its excitement. Everything here is new to me.
Running is a beast because we live on the side of the mountain so everywhere I attempt to run I have some SERIOUS hills, but at least they are accompanied by beautiful old houses and narrow oak lined streets that are covered by the fallen yellow leaves.
I can run to Temple Square from where I live - love it.
People in my ward have been exceedingly nice and I'm finding it so easy to meet new people here. I love being new because it forces me to step out of my box and I do so much better when I'm alone in a whole new place.
I am back to a shared room, but I have an amazing roommate which I'm so grateful for! Her favorite show is Gilmore Girls - which we happily watch together. And, she even goes to bed earlier than me. It's a miracle!
Work still has it's ups and downs and there's a lot that I want to change about it, but I am making friends which makes the 40 hours of work a little bit better.
So, I'm feeling better. I'm feeling happy. Life is good and I'm going to try to keep it that way.

Chakras anyone?

I am getting a whole new kind of education here at my job. I am learning about the "unseen" world and the natural healing traditions of the East. It's kind of fascinating and definitely something that I have never ever bothered to learn about.
My coworker (the same one I always talk about) came in to work today with a CD that someone randomly gave her spouse. I am one who definitely does believe that music has a powerful effect on a person. It can invigorate, aggravate, or ameliorate. After a break-up, I listen to Kelly Clarkson and other girl power songs. When I need more calm in my life, I find some peaceful piano music or hymns to listen to. When I want more spice in my life, I put on a little tropical or merengue music that inspires me to dance through life. I think most of us agree that music influences our emotions and attitudes.
So, the CD that the cowoerker brought in today is called Healing Harmonies. Apparently the tones in each song target specific chakras. Now, before 15 minutes ago, I had no idea was a chakra even was. I figured I had better do a little research to find out what this music is supposed to be that we're listening to.
For those of you who don't know, the body is divided into 7 chakras. In old Indian tradition, chakras are said to be force centers or centers of energy. They are considered to be focal points for tranmission and reception of energy within the spiritual body and thus transferred to the physical as well. Each one has a tone and a color.
For example, the crown chakra's function is as follows - as the tone and colors are used, it should increase one's joy and lessen anger and fear. It helps one to find purpose and become less selfish - more humanitarian based and devoted.
I think the Indian and Ancient Eastern traditions are kind of fascinating. They established some pretty complex systems to understand the mind, the body, the spirit, and the universe. While I don't believe it all (by any means) it is interesting to try to see the world from others' perspectives and to come to appreciate and see the beauty in it all.

Antibacterial Soaps

I so agree with this article and really get annoyed with all the hand sanitizers. Yes, we should wash our hands, but let's be reasonable people. I figure if I made it in 2 South American countries without anti-bacterializing my hands every 4 seconds, I'll be okay here as well.
Here's the link - http://climate.weather.com/articles/dcantibacterialsoap2009.html?from=pif_locallinker_undeclared
What do you think??

Confessions of a Quarter-Life Becky

So, you can tell by the frequency of my posts that work has been slow...
We're not going to talk about that though because really there are much better things to talk about today, like my addictions.
I am addicted to HOME-DECOR. I swear I'd have a lot more money if Kohl's and there adorable home decor for the holidays never existed.
I was just online kohls.com to check out there selection of running shoes. I went running last night and was talking with a friend afterwards who reprimanded me for having such old running shoes. What - 5 years is old??? Apparently by not replacing them, I'm destroying my joints. Even though they are fine now and do not hurt now when I run, I'm apparently supposed to replace them every so often. I've also been told that I can't hike and run in the same shoes since hiking destoys running shoes...
So, as I was purusing the running shoes section, the brightly beaming title HALLOWEEN was beaconing me from the top of the page. I innocently clicked on it and to my utter satisfaction saw all sorts of house decor for Halloween. Now, I'm single and live in college housing which tends to stray from the warm homey sensastion that I long for, but adding a bit of holiday decor seems to make everything right in life.
I already bought my FAVORITE candle from wal-mart - Fall Spice (I think it's called...). It's only $5 and smells awesome! I highly recommend it. But now I am pondering about something to hang on the door. I currently have my Fall Leaf door hanging, also adorable, but maybe I need something more Halloweenish.
Anyway, I could spend hours looking at and deciding between door hangings and dreaming of placements and nice fall meals to display on top of them at cute little dinner parties while my fall scented candle is spreading a peaceful aroma through the room and the wind is gently hitting the door hanging just as a solitary bright red leaf falls from the apple tree in the back yard from which I picked apples to make apple crisp....
See, that last run on sentence is a sign of my addiction and what happens when I start thinking about holiday decor.

When the sun is too bright, something's not right

I woke up so calmly this morning. I felt rested and the sun seemed to be so bright in the morning sky.

With all those great things, I realized something must be wrong. I usually groggily wake up to the alarm clock and hit snooze several times first and the sun was just a little too bright in the morning sky.

That's when it dawned on me. I reached for my phone and to my utter horror saw the time - 7:44. I was supposed to be on my way to work already. If work wasn't an hour away that would've have been a problem, but alas, I have to leave at 7:30 on the dot to get to work on time and be a responsible employee.

So, I threw on some clothes - no make-up and no brushed teeth even. Grabbed an empty bottle of water and some fruit snacks and headed out approximately 4 minutes later.

It's a good thing there aren't any mirrors close. I did throw on some make-up at the occassional stop light.

I don't like that feeling of being an irresponsible worker! The ironic thing is that I double checked my alarm clock last night to assure that I'd be up and out on time.

Congrats Becky

So, a while ago I created an adorable collage to put as the background on my computer. It was a combination of all of my favorite pictures from the summer.
They really were very cute pictures.
It just so happened that I made this collage when I was dating the ex. I loved some of the pictures because we looked so dang cute together. And, I liked looking at those pics even after we broke up.
Well today, as my final parting to those memories, I changed my background pictures. Now, every time I get on my computer, I won't see those pictures. Yes, it took me a month to change them, but people, progress is progress.
So, I pat myself on the back today for taking that step in the right direction.
Now a beautiful peaceful fall view will happily greet me every time I get on my computer.

Selenite Crystal

My coworker received a selenite crystal as a gift from a friend. Apparently it is in a wand shape and is supposed to ward off bad spirits in order to create only a positive aura. We've been talking about where to hang it between our cubicles with the hopes of providing a more positive energy.
Okay, I've been joking about hanging it up and am quite skeptical about its influence.
My Friday appointments always tend to be more flakey so I have more time than usual and decided to research the crystal. This is what I found.

They are "especially useful for removing entities or energetic parasites during the aura....Selenite can provoke protection from the angelic realm and also dispels negative energies....removes energy blocks from physical and etheric bodies."

"Selenite allows us to consciously understand our own deepest inner truth, that part of ourselves which is not body, not emotions or throughts, but pure spirit...helps us to filter out ego-based messages and thoughts...It also can help to clear up mental confusion."

So I read that kind of laughing to my coworker until it suddenly dawned on me that she may have never been joking. Between the yoga and special sprays that she's conjured up, maybe she really does think this crystal will work.
Maybe I'm wrong - maybe this crystal will change my work life and our 2 cubicles. I guess we'll find out next week when the wand shaped selenite is hanging on a braided piece of colorful yarn from the ceiling between our desks.
Any of you think it will work?

It's never good when...

I walk outside at 7:30 - which is the precise moment that I get in my car and drive to work so that I can be there right on time, an hour later. I walk towards my dear little pontiac only to find, to my utter horror, that my car is not in the spot where I parked it.
I think that maybe I had a moment where my brain wasn't working and I had actually parked it in a different spot. But lo, I look and find nothing. There are 2 options, the druggies that live up the street stole my car (not a very likely option) or I was towed from what used to be a perfectly legitimate parking spot.
So I call the towing company and sure enough, they had my car. Without advising us of the change in parking regulations in my parking lot, they changed them and towed.
Unhappily I think of how much time it takes to earn $150 and all the better ways that I could use my money then paying to get my car back after being towed - in my parking lot.
I showed up late to work - on the day that I was helping interview for a few positions...
I couldn't bring myself to be outright mean to the lady who works at the towing company office. Afterall it wasn't her fault. But, since I was unrightfully towed, I displayed my attitude. So, when she said have a good day, I just walked out of the door without responding.
The end.

It's Friday afternoon at 4:30 pm. These are the circumstances -
- I got up to go to the bathroom and I get back and the lights on my whole half of the building are already shut off.
- I think there might only be 2 of us left ... I don't think either of us are working.
- Friday afternoon appointments are always no shows.
- I can see out the windows over the top of my cubicle/office. The sky is blue and beautiful and is just beaconing me!
- As soon as I get home, I'm going to pour a handful of candy corns in my hand and devour them. I have been craving anything with sugar since my breakfast bowl of Cocoa Puffs.
- I get to go camping tonight and hiking in a lovely canyon tomorrow. I'm stoked.
- It's still a little too hot for my tastes for being at this point in the Fall. I'd appreciate it if it cooled off by 10 degrees, starting tomorrow.
- I need a man...but for a good reason. I want to go to Israel. I read the State Department Travel Warning today and it looks like a dangerous place (like most of the places my heart desires to go). Thus, I need a man who will accompany me and be my bodyguard/entertainment around Israel...and maybe Greece. Okay, and if I can't find a man, anyone else want to take a risky adventure to Israel and Greece with me???
That's it. May you have a merry weekend!

The Sub-Culture

Isn't it interesting how we all live in our own little bubbles - so oblivious to what's going on next door or down the block or on the other side of the tracks.
I sat down with a guy yesterday who is looking for a job. He came in with 4 piercings in his face - not just like a little loop or stud. These were serious pieces - kind of looked like spikes sticking out of the face. My initial reaction - goodness - he will never get a job with those piercings and tatoos. I probably judged him a little bit based on his appearence. We kept talking and working together for the next few hours and he was such a respectable guy. It turns out he is an apprentice tatoo artist. He explained to me all that goes into tatooing. It's actually pretty intense between the outline and coloring and shading.... Some of the tools are composed of 8 or 9 small needles that go back and forth over your skin to create shading. It causes excrutiating pain. And for the record, he does remove piercings for work.
Then there's the other part of the sub-culture that is so difficult to understand. A man told me that he got in a fight with a coworker, pulled a knife on him, and poked him. That gesture was apparently okay in the situation. As long as it's just a poke... Part of the subculture is a different understanding and perspective on what is violence. If it's just a poke, that's okay. As long as you only steal a little bit, you're justified.
There are the other clients who prefer to be in jail because atleast there they get fed 3 meals a day. When they are out of jail, no one will hire them for being felons. They are stuck in a cycle of perpetuating poverty and crime.
The world I work in is on the other side of the tracks from the bubble culture that I live in. There's a different reality here. I can't really comprehend how most of the people that I work with live. But, I am learning that although their culture is different and sometimes incomprehensible in my innocent Becky mind, there are a lot of good people just trying to make a life for themselves. Afterall, a life of petty crime is pretty honorable when you were raised in a family that was part of the Moffia.

Tender Mercies

So I'll be honest. I've been complaining a lot in the last week. Okay, complaining isn't the right word - the truth is that I just haven't been trying to find the positive in the different aspects of my life. I've been realistic instead of hopeful and optimistic. Sorry to all those who've talked with me in the last week. I tried to put on a brave face, but somedays I didn't succeed.
But...
I'm pleased to announce that I'm on the uphill climb of the roller coaster. For the first few weeks of my job, I've been trying to fill in the void of 8 hours - usually unsuccessfully. Today, I've been busy (up until I started writing this blog) and it was blessed to go from client to client! And, I've been bummed that I haven't been working with hispanics, but today, I worked with a little hispanic man and his wife who didn't speak english. And, it gets better. They were Chilean! What happiness. My heart pitter pats at the thought. Needless to say, it was one of the moments that said to me, "Becky, stick with your job. Things are going to be okay!"
Then...
Yesterday I went to church and left simultaneously happy and a little bummed. But then I went out with my dear roomie Annette - who is often a lifesaver - and was reminded of all the great friends I have. I just passed the whole night away and suddenly it was 11 and time to go to sleep. I had lots of fun and it definitely rejuvenated me and reminded me that even with the recent break up with a little someone special, life is pretty good.
And...
My newest niece is on the verge of being here in person so I will now be an Aunt to 2! I wasn't around when Lizzie was born, so I'm pretty excited about this.
And...
Everyone is going back to school which means that Provo life is going to be crazy and hectic for the majority of the people, but that means that I will not be doing assigned homework but learning at my own whim and doing my own projects, which I have a list of.
So...
No more complaining. It just requires way too much effort to do so and to live that way so I say we all buck up. As a very wise man once said, "Your future is only as bright as your faith."

Two Observations from the Sidewalk....

1. Running definitely isn't my strongest point although I have greatly improved in the last year. When I'm running I always give myself a pep talk - I promise myself rewards and I try to convince myself that only if I run all the way to the end will the cute boy of my dreams be waiting there. That's usually good motivation, but today I had an epiphany. I always think that running to the end represents life pretty well - the whole endure to the end. But then today I realized, sometimes you won't make it to the end if you run - you'll pass out and die first. Sometimes in life, walking is good enough - as long as I'm not stopped walking might just be my best after the long run up the steep hill.
2. I've realized that when I get frustrated with life, angry, upset, any of those negative feelings I have the tendency to want to run away...to South America. It represents an escape and a solution to any problem I feel like I might have. So when the frustration comes, I start checking out all the airline prices to South American countries. I talk with any friends to see if I can convince someone to go with me (Does anyone want to go on a vaca to South America???). I look into humanitarian aid projects (okay, I do that anyway) to see if I can find one that will send me there. I think maybe I should just get a job there...haha. Then, the frustration starts to slip away and I realize what a great life I have here and then I return to my normal periodic, instead of obsessive, plans to travel to South America. What silly things do you do to get out your frustrations??

The Ups and Downs of Life

Up -
That feeling I get after I help someone at work to change their life.

Down -
The days when I have done everything at work that I could possible think of and still have 6 hours left in the day.

Up -
The days that are wreck free on the interstate and I still have time to have a life after work.

Down -
The really irritating days that it takes nearly 2 hours to get home with no possible way of shortening the time.

Up -
The days when the high is only 80ish with a delightful breeze.

Down -
Yesterday - over 100 degrees in a car for an hour with no A/C.

Up -
Having a strong boy to throw me around and make me feel like a princess while Dancing.

Down -
The fickleness of feelings.

Up -
Having passions in life.

Down -
Not knowing how to make them happen.

Up -
The days when I don't have time to take a lunch to work and am forced to eat a McDonald's hamburger for lunch. Yes, this is an up!!

Down -
When I get to work and realize the lunch I'd nicely prepared is made with spinach that has gone bad...

Up -
When I am inspired by something that I've read.

Down -
I'm not going to write a down because I feel like if I have an equal number of ups and downs, that's a little pessimistic.

Up -
Wherever I was in my dream last night. It was a very happy and beautiful place!

There you go. That sums up the thoughts and feelings of the last few weeks. As for the day to day adventure of life, I feel sometimes as lost as always. I thought that ended with graduation, haha. It turns out that I'm really great with the long-term vision and goals of my life. It's just the little short ones that throw me for a loop; but, all is well.
Happy Saturday.

Grown-Up

My summer of post-graduation bliss is quickly coming to a close. It officially ends on Monday when I become a grown-up. I graduated from high school in 2002 and enjoyed the college life (off and on between transferring schools, a mission, and an internship in Ecuador) until 2009. That's 7 whole years of college instability and spontaneity. It's the life of even though I have a job, I can always find someone to pick up my shift. It's the life of no paid vacation but also no set amount of vacation days. It's hoping I don't get sick because I'm too old to be on the parent's insurance and too poor to buy my own. Well, on Monday I start my new job of 40 hours a week, 2 weeks of vacation time a year, my own health and dental insurance. I went to check out car loans yesterday and the possibilities of getting a new (to me) car because I just don't know how long the little Purple Pontiac will last commuting to Salt Lake 5 days a week. I'm excited for the stability that will come with the new job - no more Friday nights or Saturdays at work. The official work day will end at 5 and I won't have to come home or run to the library with the stress of homework and tests. I can learn whatever I want, however I want to learn it. Despite the advantages of this next step of life, I'm a little nervous.

My Graduation

All of us graduates during the processional into the Marriott Center. It turned out to be a beautiful day for graduation!Although you can't see my cap, I was tossing it joyously into the air. It was a great moment!My College - the David M. Kennedy Center for International Studies. I'm pretty sure we had the coolest graduation on campus . It was pretty short. We had a Venezuelan group that performed during the ceremony and we had a delicious little latino luncheon after.Thanks to the padres who helped me get to this point. I love BYU...and my parents of course!!

I'm just excited if you can't tell. I think we may have taken more pictures than some people take when they get married, haha.

Cheri - one of my awesome sisters who has always been a faithful friend and a good support throughout the exciting yet sometimes frustrating college years.Thanks Jenni and Lizzie for getting up at the crack of dawn to come support me. It really meant a lot. I love my family! I don't think I would've made it throughout college without their friendships and encouraging words.
These have been some of the best...7 years, haha.

My new favorite - Picasa

So after a lovely afternoon outside enjoying the beautiful mountains that Provo so accessibly offers, I decided to come in and upload my pictures. As I looked at them, I thought about all the ways that I could make the pictures more vibrant and stunning. I remembered that Cheri downloaded Picasa - FOR FREE - and always uses it with her pictures. So, I downloaded it today and I´m sure that my picture taking and processing life will never be the same. Here are some of my first experiments. Hopefully you can enjoy the beautiful scenery and springtime as much as I did.
Because trains are always cool.

The vibrant blue water will the beginning of spring with the red plant.

Despite the recent snow storms, the trees are in bloom and warmer weather is on it´s way.
I think this might be the first time that I´ve ever really appreciated spring. Normally, I like it is a miserable and dreary time of year because spring in a college town means the end of a year - roommates leaves, people graduate, friends get married and move away. It´s usually such a sad time of year full of goodbyes. But, I am pleased to say that this year, I am so excited for Spring, for the changes and adventures that it holds. Spring represents renewal. It´s full of hope and light and color that so starkly contrasts the dark, cold winter. With graduation only a few days away, I full of hope, ready for change, and anxious to see where the next few months will take me.

Global Warming

April 16, 2009 - 4-5 inches of fresh snow to shovel off at 6:50 a.m.

Class of 2009

BYU GRADUATING CLASS OF 2009! This is at the Senior Farewell Party. It was so fun! We got free food, karaoked in public (and made a fool of myself, it was ridiculous). Watched some awesome Polynesian Dances and Latino Dances by Living Legends at BYU. Those might have been the most attractive men I´ve ever seen...a little chocolate :) By the end we were exhausted after a round of bowling...so tired that Natausha walked out of the bowling alley and forgot to take off her bowling shoes. Hence the picture below.... Needless to say it was fun!

A beautiful distraction

I try to avoid bookstores because the moment I walk through the door, my eyes get caught up in all of the wonderful books and all the things that I want to learn. I love books! At walked into the BYU Bookstore at 2:15ish and left at 6:00. It´s a good thing that I don´t have an overwhelming amount of homework.
Some of the things that excited me in the bookstore today are:
1. The Portuguese Language Learning Books. Since one of my roommates speaks portuguese, I´ve started seeing a lot more similarities between it and spanish. I really have no reason that I shouldn´t or couldn´t learn portuguese. So, I got caught up looking for a good book or CDs to help me learn the language...after graduation (in 2 weeks).

2. I read a few very silly children´s books, for example, Llama Llama Misses Mama. As much as I love llamas, I certainly don´t recommend this book. It was incredibly foolish.
3. I found the book, The Giver, which I remember loving as a child! It´s been so long since I´ve read it and I couldn´t resist the urge to just pull up a comfy chair and get caught up in the book. I´m a slow reader, so I only made it through 120 pages, but luckily, that only leaves me with 60 which I will read tomorrow. I´ve been thinking about the book the whole way home and it´s really made me think about the greatness of our ability to choose. How sad would our lives be if we saw no colors, if we didn´t choose our destiny, if we knew no pain...and therefore no happiness. If you haven´t read The Giver, I highly recommend that you take a few hours to read it. It´s an easy read but a powerful book.

What catches your eye when you walk into the bookstore?

Happiness

1. I love my niece!
2. I love when she gets in trouble, or is tired, or whatever it is she calls out for me.
3. I love that my bro has taught her to say Beckycita.
4. I love my little sister´s clothes and that we were able to reach an exchange agreement!
5. I love being in a real home and neighborhood, not a student apt and area.
6. I love that the sun in shining (even if it does only come out for a few days at a time).
7. I love SWINGS!
8. I love letting my inner-child play.

Internship Fair

Natausha and I had the chance to present our Internship at an Internship Fair at BYU. We were hoping to win the Grand Prize of $750....which we didn´t win, but we still got $50, so I won´t complain. Plus, it was a blast talking to all of the people and encouraging them to do the internship. As I talked with everyone, I remembered how much I loved my experience in Ecuador! It was such an incredible opportunity. (this is a picture I took in Guayaquil, Ecuador of the bamboo houses.)

"Let the world change you and you can change the world" (Motorcycle Diaries). It´s such a true statement. Before I can attempt to do good, I have to understand, see, and feel what others are living. I wish everyone had the chance to see the world as I´ve been able to see it.

Mission Reunions

I love my mission president and his amazing wife! At every reunion, President always gathers us into one room and he shares a thought. It brings back wonderful memories of Zone Conferences and interviews and his inspired counsel. I was especially touched by his words on being brave and going forward into the future with bravery. Finals start next week and then comes graduation and the life of a grown-up. I need all the courage I can muster as I try to make decisions.
My good friends!! I always love seeing Pierson and Janina. They have been good and cherished friends since we met in the mission. Pierson still gives me Zone Leader counsel and cracks me up.

Pineapple Carving and Summer Projects

If you love fresh pineapple, then you also know how irritating it is wasting half of a pineapple cutting off the knots. I learned from a friend that in the Philippines, they cut their pineapples this way so that they waste less. Plus, the spiral design just looks cool. This was my first attempt at the spiral cut pineapple. Wouldn't this be a lovely centerpiece at a summer meal?
I love flowers and gardens! As each summer comes and goes, I long for the moment when I can have my own little flower garden. I have always been in an apartment where I have no space to actually plant flowers. However, this year, I have a tiny little yard that's about 8 feet by 8 feet. I have visions of Return to Me where she has her beautiful garden in the midst of the city. That's what I want to have. I was inspired when I went to Walmart to buy better soil for my indoor plants. I saw such a great variety of beautiful flowers and imagined the possibilities. I figure I'm going to need a summer project so that I don't go crazy with just work and looking for a post-college job. I'm excited. I think I will buy them this weekend and it will almost be time to start planting :)!!

Where I want to be!

Can't you just imagine me HERE???

Strolling down the lovely cobble stone streets between the historic houses

Having a lovely picnic at the harbor on a crisp autumn day?? I did always say as a child that I wanted to live in New England!
So, I'm looking into Boston seriously and the mere thought of it makes me so excited!! I have heard so many wonderful things about the city and the people. I have a friend who is from Boston who has been kind enough to provide me with a lot of people to contact. So, the job hunt is on and hopefully I'll be out there to visit at the beginning of June.
If you know anyone living in Boston, let me know! I am trying to find contacts to call so that I can get more information about jobs in the area.
Exciting.

St. Patty´s Day

There are plenty of reasons to be happy on a day like today! I will share a few.
1. By March 17th in Utah, you can normally find one or two trees that have a green sprig or that have a blossom giving one hope that Spring is on it´s way! I happily admit to having searched for and found one of those trees.
2. What if we really did kiss everyone who was Irish?? I´m pretty sure that a great majority of us Anglo-Protestants have some Irish blood in us somewhere.
3. I think we should change the rules. Forget pinching someone for not wearing green, that just fosters unfriendliness. Let´s kiss people who aren´t wearing green (provided you want to) and take the relationship up a notch. What a great excuse to kiss someone!
4. I probably won´t wear green today....deliberately. I am making a statement because really, St. Patrick´s Day was always associated with blue, not green. Green was just referring to the shamrock which St. Patty used to teach about the trinity (or in my case...the Godhead). Be happy because St. Patrick´s Day offers you a day to be unique.
5. It´s close to Easter - meaning that you can finally buy those coveted easter candies you´ve been dreaming about since last year. For me, they´re the Robin Eggs.
6. You are at liberty to die everything green- your milk, pancakes, juice...etc. They even die the Chicago River green each year in celebration.
So, go find some reason to enjoy this unusual day where we celebrate an Irish Saint that most of us know nothing about!

The New Hair :)

So, this weekend was 30% off for friends and family of Gap, Banana Republic, and Old Navy employees. What a deal!! Have I mentioned how much I love Old Navy??? It´s totally my style! So Natausha and I went and tried on at least 30 things each or everything in the store. I´m pretty sure we were there at least 3 hours. But to help the workers, we did return our own clothing. Our outfits are courtesy of Old Navy. And...I love my hair! I think it might look a little like Utah Mom hair, but I love it none-the-less. Any who, that´s the update.
P.S. Thanks for the relationship advice. My conclusion is just go with the flow and don´t think about things until it is necessary. SO....avoid DTRs like the plague and all will be well.

Could it be love???

Just to initially clarify, I am not in love. I am not even close. The analysis of my love life is the following...

1. I might be afraid to commit.
2. It's not that I'm afraid, it's just that the spark is consistently missing that I am waiting for.

I have heard both of those and I'm not really sure which one of those categories I fall into. So, I pose a question for all of you dear people who are happily situated in a relationship.
What role did initial attraction play in your relationship. Now to clarify, I do not mean mere physical attraction! I mean that spark that makes you giddy. That pushes you from indifference to hope for something more. The spark that makes you want to know the person. I have found that in my life with some guys, that spark is just automatically there. I can think of very specific examples and that spark has directed my dating in the past.
However, maybe I am being too rash. Maybe I shouldn't shun the guy because the spark isn't initially there (in all cases...although it definitely has been in some). Maybe I need to wait and see if that spark can develop. Or, maybe the lack of spark at the beginning is a sign that he is a great guy....but as a friend and not as anything more.
I have been very concerned about this lately - between giving guys a chance and between settling for someone (that's great and wonderful) but that is missing the spark. I don't want to ruin a perfectly good opportunity, but I also don't want to lead a guy on unjustly.
It is an interesting quandry. So, opinions, advice, I'd love to hear it. I'm stumped on this current issue.

What lies ahead...

So, I am graduating in April. I turn 25 in 1 day, and I will be honest, I don´t have any idea what I am going to do with my life this year. I think about it probably every other minute and I try to give good answers when the questions are asked, but I really don´t know.
Do I leave Provo? Do I stay in Provo? What kind of job do I want? Do I go to grad school? Is this really what I want?
For the record, I do not regret being 25 and where I am in my life. I am 100% pleased with the course of my life up to this point and I would not change a thing, I just wish that I had a plan for after this point. To be honest, I never expected to be 25 and single and trying to decide about which career to pursue. I was one of the little girls who thought 21 was a little old for getting married, haha. I fully expected to be married and with 2 kids by this point in my life, but alas, it has been full of unexpected turns. I served a mission which was the best decision that I have ever made. I went on an internship to Ecuador which again was very impacting. I was in love and thought that I was going to get married, and now here I am - almost graduated from college.
I don´t know yet what is going to happen next in life. Really and truly - no idea! I try to predict it and set up a game plan, but then I throw it out. Sometimes I wonder if my plans are pointless since I always seem to take the unexpected route that suddenly pops up. Hmm...right now I´d really like a magic globe that would tell me would just lay out these next few months for me, but I guess the adventure and the learning comes from taking a few steps into the dark.

I am...

I have been slacking off on my blog for a while, but when I saw this cute new Valentine's background, I knew that I needed to get my priorities straight and start blogging once again so I could use that background :)

Today I feel like describing myself so here it goes...
I am...
currently full of optimism for various reasons.
uncertain what will happen to my life in a few months after I graduate.
excited that this week I get to go to Portland to my BFF Ceci's wedding.
anxious for all of my family to be together in a few weeks since I hardly haven't seen my sister Jen in 6 years!
trying to figure out why I have so much homework.
loving my new ward and my awesome roomies. I always get lucky with roommates.
thinking of what great new recipe I can try to cook to please my taste buds.
excited for Spring even though I typically love winter tremendously.
so grateful that I went to Ecuador!
passionate about my beliefs.
hoping to be able to play the guitar really well....as good as my lil sis who's practically Taylor Swift.
a clean freak.
a little silly and I love to laugh.
going to learn to Country Dance or Square Dance - or any other random dance.

Alright - those are a few things about me - now I pose the question, who are you?