The First Loaves

I am a PERFECTIONIST. That has ups and downs. The ups are that when I do something, I try to do it perfectly. The downs are that I often times stray from doing something unless I do it perfectly.
Today, I decided that it's time for me to make my own Wheat Bread. My mom makes the MOST amazing wheat bread and I have helped her enough that I felt it was time for me to try it on my own. I had the recipe and paid scrupulous attention to every step. I was also stressed at every step thinking - if I do something wrong, this will have be a lost 4 hours of my life. Ironically enough, I'm the one who used to teach my missionaries - it's only failure if you don't learn from it. Yes, Becky, how about applying that advice to yourself.
Anyway, I made the dough and thought it may still be a little too sticky, but I had done and already added more flour than the recipe called for so I gave it over to the RISING stage. After stage 1 of rising, I thought, umm...I don't think it raised enough. Concerned but too late to change it, I prepared it for stage 2 and put it in my new bread pans. Near the end of the second hour of raising, I still didn't think it raised enough and was convinced I'd have one solid block of cooked dough - something more like a brick than the deliciousness I was hoping to eat with my fresh strawberry jam.
I put it in the oven to bake, a little pessimistic, but this is what I saw about 20 minutes through...
They looked to be rising and browning perfectly. My hope was renewed. I anxiously checked them though the oven window every 5 minutes and at the end, this is what I got
2 beautiful loaves of bread and some strawberry jam. I have sampled a little bit of the bread and I'm pleased. I give myself a Blue Ribbon for my first attempt at bread. We'll see if the BF approves - if so, I'll call it a victory. Little perfectionist Becky can now continue on peacefully with Saturday - not feeling like a failure.

Newly Enrolled

I LOVE learning! I do, maybe I'm addicted. I want to learn everything and I frequently get frustrated by what I don't know. I should probably not be too harsh on myself after all I'm only ALMOST-26. But alas, I think of all of the things that I want to understand. It's amazing how much you learn in college only to realize when you graduate that you have only covered .000001 percent of things to learn.
I can't financially justify grad school right now so I've taken it upon myself to be my own professor. I have been checking out textbooks online and my heart pitterpats at the mere thought of my own textbooks full of knowledge. They will even be filled with thought questions, applications, and test preps :) My first course by Professor Becky will be American Government and Politics - all 700 pages of it.
I've come to realize at work - where a common topic of conversation is politics, congressmen, and how they will affect our funding - that I don't really know much about the political atmosphere in the United States and while I don't want to turn into a person who debates politics all day every day, I feel the need to be more aware. Luckily my text book will cover everything from the creation of the Constitution up to the recent issues that we face. I'm pretty excited!
Hopefully I get an A.
After that I think I'll pursue a Nutritional Course, maybe a History of Modern Music Course, and then ... okay the list really never ends. So, if anyone has any ideas of good books on nutrition or music, let me know! (Cheri, just sell me your text book when you're done.)
Alright, now that I'm all motivated to learn and know everything, I must go remind myself that "all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he hath strength. And, again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order."
For those of you like me who have a serious lack of patience with themselves, keep that in mind. Keep the goal to learn and know and do everything, just remember to enjoy doing it one day at a time.

Lockets

I think that LOCKETS are incredibly romantic. It was such a classic part of olden-time dating when the beau gives his girl a locket with their pictures inside.

I think we should bring that back!!

Inside the locket holds the secret love of the wearer of the locket.

Man, they are great and classic and beautiful.

Your love can also write a little inscription on it. Let's be serious, I think an inscription on a locket is much more romantic than on the back of the Ipod (although I would accept that as well).

Maybe my little sister is right, vintage items, antiques and older traditions are a fading beauty in our day. But we should bring them back. I think Cheri would especially like the locket above and if I had thousands of dollars, I'd buy it for her (and one for me).

Color of My Dreams

So, I just started an incredible book, Reading Lolita in Tehran, and the author commented that her artist friend had stopped painting reality because it was too dismal and instead turned to painting the colors of her dreams. No more painting abandoned homes or dead trees or a colorless world, she started painting with splashes of bright colors and she painted her dreams of a better world, and romance, and freedom.

As I was sitting there peddling on the little bicycle at 24-hour fitness (which I recently joined and am really excited about...my body will thank me!), I realized that reality isn't really that different from the colors of my dreams. I mean, sure, I have plenty of dreams that are yet to be fulfilled, but I also have a lot of dreams that have been fulfilled or are in the process of and I wouldn't change much about my current reality.

I dreamed of a job where I got to help people on a daily basis - CHECK.

I dream of living in a comfortable home that feels homey - CHECK.

I dream of having a charming BF - CHECK.

I dream of independence (whether it be financial, transportation, etc) - CHECK.

I dream of being able to learn - CHECK.

I dream of being able to have the excitement of the big city with a quick escape to the tranquility of the country - CHECK.

I dream of having family close by - CHECK (except Jen...).

I dream of being able to make my dreams come true - CHECK.

There are plenty of other things I dream about, but really, reality is treating me pretty well as of late. So thanks reality!

There's something for you to think about.

Are your reality and dreams in line or do you need to change the reality so that you're living your dreams?

Gratitude

In honor of the approaching holiday, I thought I'd share a few things that I'm grateful for.

1. Good literature, like the Alchemist, that inspire me and get me really thinking about life's journey.

2. Lovely sisters - and in-laws - that I share my hopes, dreams, and silly stories with.

3. My mother - who is always there - for the good and for the bad and who finally has a cell phone so that I can reach her anytime of day or night.

4. The magic of the first good snow of the season.

5. The last brightly colored leaf to fall from the tree.

6. My job - I may not love it, but it's a good starter job and helps me to provide for myself.

7. My beautiful little car :)

8. Besides the above mentioned people, family members in general and bffs like Natausha make life great.

9. I'm grateful for pictures - they have the power to preserve memories, feelings, events, etc. I looked through some pictures today and was flooded with memories - tears and laughter - and all the great feelings of life.

10. I am grateful for heartbreak (not that I want it all the time. I would actually be happy to never experience it again.) However, I was thinking the other day about what a beautiful thing it is to hurt that deeply because that hurt is a reflection of how much we are capable of caring and loving someone and that's a pretty miraculous thing.

11. I'm grateful that I have the power to make my dreams come true.

12. I'm definitely grateful for my life and my beliefs.

13. I'm grateful for Frozen Yogurt (especially the kind in Provo that is extremely reasonably priced and I get to buy it by ounce and add as many toppings as I want).

14. I'm grateful for the dreams of foreign lands and cultures and that I can plan lots of imaginary vacations that I hope will one day stop being imaginary.

15. Despite my country's imperfections, I am very grateful to live in the U.S!!!

16. I'm grateful for songs that perfectly express my feelings.

17. I'm grateful that I got to travel to Plymouth and the Mayflower and recreate the first Thanksgiving in my mind in the place that those first pilgrims came.

This list could go on and on. It's just a start of what I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving!